9/8 why do people suck

Long holiday weekend with a total of 9 different kids in my house.  Dani had 3 friends, Kishawn had 4, then on Monday Dani's friends 2 little sisters were here to get thier hair done.    Kids managed to eat a weeks worth of groceries in one weekend.

So I was looking foreward to getting back to work to relax and get out of work to find out someone hit my car.  Broke the headlight, dented the bumper and I can barely open my drivers side door.. no note, no insurance info.

Trying to trade in the cruiser for a van is getting to be immpossible and on the flip side it is getting inpossible not to have a van.. I was stuck home all weekend because I had to many kids to fit in my car.
Seriously sucky Tuesday!

9/6 Lord pray for me

If I ever consider letting 5 kids spend the night.. shoot me.  Okay take that back.. if I ever consider letting 5 kids spend the night and it is a mix of daughter and sons friends ..shoot me.   I am going crazy trying to make sure everyone is sleeping where they are suppose to cause it seems everyone like everyone else.... OMG I forgot how hormonal 6th graders were.Football game in the AM, girls are cheering... then everyone is going the hell home and I am getting some flippen piece and quiet.  4 kids last night and 7 tonite.. Now if only my kids would be invited for a sleepover tomorrow and I can just lay in bed all day watching movies in my jammies with absolute quiet and no needing mom. 



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Grrrr.... 9/3/15

So the car dealership calls me today and tells me to come in that they had better numbers for me...  I go hoping that I am trading the cruiser in for a van and they did not change anything.. they are still too far above what I am willing to pay each month.... Grr.. I need to get my back corner fixed on the cruiser.  I know if I do it will drastically up the trade in value on the car... Called and put in a claim to get the body damaged fixed.. just hoping my  van is still there when its fixed and that it happens soon.  That sucked..
So blah, been trying to plan my menu for the week and have some up with nothing so far.  On the upside.. have tomorrow off work and going birthday shopping for Kishawn, unfortunately just not doing that shopping in my new van :(

for every bad day, a good one

I tried for 2 years to get a job interview with Munson in Travesrse City when I lived in Michigan.  Never got a call back.  Monday I applied for 2 positions with Munson, figuring if Andi did buy grandmas house it would take me FOREVER to get a job up there... today is Wednesday, two days after sending out my 2 applications and I got a call for an interview at Munson.  Granted it was the sleep lab that called and I did not apply for the sleep lab.. no clue what position I am interviewing for, but the guy was really nice, we chatted for a bit and he said if I wanted that we could do a phone interviewm but if that went well I would have to make the drive up there for another interview.  So I have a phone interview next Thursday at 3pm.
I called Andi and asked which way she was leaning on buying the house and she wasnt sure, but she said that if I could get the job we would find a way for me to move up there.  She also Informed me that my Uncle was selling his house in Fife lake.  Not the house I want, but it would be up by my Dad. tried to see if I could use my dads house this winter till I was able to get my own place if I got the job... since he is in Florida all winter anyway, but it seems Jean's daughter does not have a job and is now divorced and is living there... so no room for me if I need a place to stay.. not surprised.. He always seems to be able to make concessions for jeans kids but not his own.  remind me exactly why I feel the need to be close to him?

Trying to patiently wait till Friday... Free day off and if I am lucky I will trade in my cruiser for a town and country.  Trying not to get my hopes up..

K had therapy today,, spent most of his hour discussing the fact that he threatened to hit his friend with a shovel.... Kid did call bio-mom a bitch.. that was a low blow, but K needs to learn to deal with his anger and eventually work through his anger and hurt.  Therapist says I need to start pressing K to call me mom, says I am confusing him by referring to both myself and bio-mom as his mom.  I just dont feel right stripping her of the title of mom.  She gave birth to him and raised him his first 7 years.  yes she fucked up.. yes he is legally my son and she voluntarily gave up that right.. but she is not a horrible person.. selfish, not the most dependable, but not a horrible person and K loves her... sigh

9/1/15

With my recent realization that I may be forever single and that I really at almost 40 have no friends... I thought hey.. why not try writing out your feelings instead of yelling at your kids.  So this is my newest project.
 So to sum up my last few days and a little background... I was supposed to go camping labor day weekend with my ex (i'll explain in a bit), my two kids and two of their friends.  Back to my ex... we broke up last January because I live in Illinois and he lives in Michigan.  I refused to move to Michigan, he refused to move to Illinois.  About a week ago I found out my grandma''s old house that I love was for sale and my cousin may buy it.  If she buys it, I can rent it and move to Michigan.  I would be up north near traverse City and my Dad.. I would be living in a house I love in a great safe town for my kids...AND... I would be in Michigan, so my ex would finally be happy cause I would be in Michigan where he wants us to be, the house has a big garage which he needs, and he loves  Northern Michigan.... Well guess I was wrong that wasn't good enough for him.. too far north, it is in town, he hates Traverse City, he wouldnt be living in the same town as HIS family.. ya know, Fuck my family and the fact that I have not seen my dad more than twice a year in the last 15 years and I have wanted this house since my aunt sold it 20+ years ago... but hey whatever...
So after a long fight in which he basically said he would be miserable there and would not move their he made the plea that we could live anywhere from Detroit to Toledo and Jackson to Kalamazoo...  I went to sleep plotting his death.
I woke up in a more generous mood and said fine.. essentially I would live where he wanted me too (meaning Detroit to Toledo Jackson to k-zoo) but I wanted a 4 bedroom house so I could continue to do foster care and I would not move into his tiny little house.  I would give up my life here in Illinois.. I would give up the kids I care about here.. I would pack my kids up and move them to Michigan against their wishes and I would do this while giving up living near my dad and the opportunity to live in my grandma's house that I had always wanted but never thought I would have.  He was like cool, ill start looking.. no appreciation at all for what I was giving up, but hey, I'm just a woman, who cares what I am giving up.  I was determined to deal with the fact that we needed to stay close to his work, not to try to get him to transfer anywhere because that can be difficult.  I get that.
So a while later I had been looking at the map and researching schools and towns and I found a town within the parameters that I was given.. it was on the east coast of Michigan right between Detroit and Toledo..AND there was actually some diversity to the school which is important as I have an African American son and all the school districts he was looking at had either 0 or 1 %AA population.. not cool.  So I text him to look in Monroe.  I found a bunch of great houses the right size in the right price range.  His response...
wait you will want to sit down ladies and put away any weapons... him " Monroe is about the same distance to work as it is from here, but not that huge of a deal, I guess."  wait what?  Me: "So its not a huge deal if you have to drive the same distance you are now.. But it kinda is... But its okay if your driving that distance from Jackson?"  Okay?   Him "Just if I were to move, getting some of that commute time back to be useful time again would be nice"  Oh Fuck it is on...   Seriously mother fucker?  I am willing to give up EVERYTHING.. and you are whining about having to drive the same distance to work as you are driving now?  as you have been driving, and have planned on continuing to drive?
So needless to say I decided that compromising for a man just was not working for me...  So it seems that I will not be camping this weekend.  But at least I now know that I do not have to try to plan my life around trying to make some man happy... and while I am pissed at his selfishness.. I feel so flippen free.

Diane Wheeler

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